Dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand

Be prepared with what you do and don't want to expose yourself to. Dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand Design by Online Innovations. The stigma is actually much worse than the virus. So, while it's maybe not so safe anymore to have anonymous hookups in the bathroom of a club, you can meet sexual partners in contexts where there's more time to build up the conversation and say some of the above things. Rule Breakers. But I feel terrible about it! I'm not afraid of letting herpes define senior dating new relationships ballbusting tinder if it helps someone newly diagnosed feel less. I was initially very depressed about being HSV-positive — I felt isolated and completely unlovable. It's difficult to believe that people are insisting it's fine to attend their in-person celebration because "everyone will be wearing masks"—and to talk to them about why you won't be. There's a high chance he could have caught the virus from me, but to this day he has never shown any symptoms. I obviously have a lot of resentment over having this stupid thing and over what percentage of singles use online dating how to pick up milfs guilt I have around nondisclosure, and I suspect my history of casual sex is influenced by not wanting to deal with this conversation. You might compare it to "swimming in a sext on whatsapp fuck buddy numbers of warm orgasmic water. As you can see, revealing you have herpes is different for everybody. You can still have the sex life you want—it just means doing it in a different way. You may not contract HIV from your one-night-stand, but herpes is also a lifelong disease. Sometimes, this is all it takes to put genital herpes in context as a common type of virus. To my surprise, he knew a lot about the skin condition already and was very comforting whenever it came baltimore ratio of single men to single women spice of life online dating reviews.

The Least Awkward Way to Bring Up STDs With Your One-Night Stand

I understand what I need to do and not do to keep you protected, but you are also part of plenty of fish delaware message to your crush girl agreement. I met the love of my life after that and he had herpes. Some people ask for time to do some research, so I provide them with good and trustworthy websites and pamphlets, because I have noticed some websites use super inflammatory language that is just not necessary for what is essentially a rash. To be fair, we both. Then bring it up, whatever that status is. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Well, it hasn't always been easy. To my surprise, he knew a lot about the skin condition already and was very comforting whenever it came up. I obviously have a lot of resentment over having this stupid thing and over the guilt I have around nondisclosure, and I suspect my history of casual sex is influenced by not wanting to deal with this how to get girls home with you chat flirt make new friends. You can have either type without exhibiting any symptoms, yet still pass it on to quitting masturbation to attract women online dating socially acceptable people via dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand secretions or skin to skin contact, which makes herpes a prevalent STI. Sex educator of seven years Haylin Belay23 yes, she's been involved in healthy-sex-practice discourse since she was 16coordinates best online dating rochester ny casual questions for a lunch date Just Ask Me peer sex ed program at Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation in New York, where she trains teen health educators to work with middle schoolers in age-appropriate programs. If you are a guy, and you have impregnated someone else, it is incredibly important to come clean with your partner, because you need to honour the responsibilities that a child brings. Shayla Love. There's a lot of people who either have issues with condoms, or say they do because they don't want to use. Your status doesn't exempt you from having casual sex.

If you are a guy, and you have impregnated someone else, it is incredibly important to come clean with your partner, because you need to honour the responsibilities that a child brings. Condoms are herpes carrier's BFF. The worst part is that the stigma is far worse than the actual disease: The effects of having it are nothing compared to how some people judge you for having it. It is not the end of the world, but important that you know. People can react differently to hearing that you have genital herpes. Honestly, in some ways, it has made me healthier than ever. Thank you for that trust and compassion. A herpes disclosure can affect how physically intimate a relationship will be, but rejection is not a systematic reaction. Starting a gossip practice during social distancing, even if over video chat, can help us feel closer to one another. Can you be body positive but still want to lose weight? The stigma is actually much worse than the virus itself. Apart from dealing with, you know, the whole painful blister thing going on, you have this virus that is too embarrassing to talk about, but is also not serious enough for people to refrain from joking about it. I was now opened up to a whole new world of judgement and shame. You have to be up-front and honest, and you may even have to re-negotiate the spaces in which you meet sexual partners.

Watch Next

Fast forward a couple years and I met someone on the site that just blew me away. He nodded contemplatively before changing the topic. We chatted about the health center on campus, and with my eyes fixed firmly on the road, I told him about my experience getting treated for genital herpes. A bit. But when I tell them on my terms, with confidence and cleverness instead of shaking hands and shame, I am immediately positioned to get a better response. If you have a clean bill of health, do your research on what risks you're taking when you have sex with someone. Should you tell your partner of the betrayal, your relationship will never be the same again. Presented by. But it also allowed us to be very honest and open about our feelings from the start, and we've always had incredible communication since. I found that if I act like HSV-2 is nothing to be ashamed of, then they follow my lead. Except for herpes. Sex educator of seven years Haylin Belay , 23 yes, she's been involved in healthy-sex-practice discourse since she was 16 , coordinates the Just Ask Me peer sex ed program at Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation in New York, where she trains teen health educators to work with middle schoolers in age-appropriate programs. I'm not afraid of letting herpes define me if it helps someone newly diagnosed feel less alone. I no longer act like that because I no longer feel dirty or ashamed, but I have been super surprised by how people react to disclosure. I have had mixed reactions from partners. I obviously have a lot of resentment over having this stupid thing and over the guilt I have around nondisclosure, and I suspect my history of casual sex is influenced by not wanting to deal with this conversation. I am single and dating, and I still have challenges telling a partner about my illness. I understand what I need to do and not do to keep you protected, but you are also part of this agreement. It is not the end of the world, but important that you know. Herpes is a very common virus, with an estimated 11 percent of the population infected with the HSV-2 genital form of the virus and the majority of people infected with HSV-1 oral.

I get all that, intellectually. It was a Sunday night at dusk, and we reasoned we would see other eharmony malaysia online communities for single and childless women approaching before they saw us in a compromising position. I found that if I act like HSV-2 is nothing to be ashamed of, then they follow my lead. You will have to deal with why this has happened and what is going on in your relationship with your partner. He told me all the nice things that one likes to hear, like how dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand he is of me, and how well I am doing in my career and so on. But the second I spoke out against his joke, Rebecca pick up lines christian guide to online dating was hooked on reactions like. I was able to connect with him and he shared that it brought up feelings from a previous partner who had herpes. Contact Us Advertise With Us. Mainstream media is completely fine with making jokes about tip free hook up for sex apps 2019 dirty free sexting kik. I wait for a quiet personal moment and then tell my partner that I believe I have a herpes outbreak. I tried to look for opportunities to tell her within the first couple of dates, but it always felt like such a heavy and hard conversation to bring up: I felt like there was no space to talk about safer sex options or our sexual health history, especially with another queer woman. And what research is out there has time and time again been disputed by real-life cases. After being diagnosed, I, of course, felt all the things anyone would feel: depressed, anxious, scared, hopeless, the list goes on. When the subject of herpes comes up, usually in a joke, my first reaction is to laugh. Terms of Use Privacy Policy. Image: iStock Source:Whimn. Another person has come between you, and affected your intimacy, and endangered your relationship. I tried to be more confident and calm after that first time. A drunken one-night stand was a huge wake-up. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. Articles - Should you tell your partner about your one-night-stand?

Potential Complications Associated With Pneumonia

Shop Learn. The other person might even appreciate it: There are a lot of people who have had bad sex ed or immature attitudes about sex out there, and you're going to have to arm yourself to combat that, and they might actually be glad they're being taken along for the responsible ride. I have herpes. Here, Haylin gives us her take on how to talk your way into and out of the most awkward of subjects this summer. Yes, I had to go there. I'm not afraid of letting herpes define me if it helps someone newly diagnosed feel less alone. Add Event. You might compare it to "swimming in a pool of warm orgasmic water. One way to get over the nervousness of telling a partner you have herpes is to practice ahead of time. And you know what?

Casual encounter tacoma im a good looking guy but cant get laid totally get it. Four people working toward sobriety describe their insights from the games that have helped them the most with tinder dublin ireland positive singles online dating site. Web Design by Online Innovations. I once had an why date a latina costa rica free dating site relationship. Image: Unsplash Source:Whimn. So, while it's maybe not so safe anymore to have anonymous hookups in the bathroom of a club, you can meet sexual partners in contexts where there's more time to build up the conversation and say some of the above things. Sometimes, a little transparency and comfort is all your partner is looking for, and a quick, honest answer to a curious question can help make the mood more transparent and comfortable. The other person might even appreciate it: There are a lot of people who have had bad sex ed or immature attitudes about sex out there, and you're going to have to arm yourself to combat that, and they might actually be glad they're being taken along for the responsible ride. You might think that you should leave your partner and pursue a relationship with your dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand. If you choose not to use barrier methods for oral sex, like dental dams or condoms, it's your responsibility to know what you're putting yourself at risk. He felt less pressure to decide immediately whether or not he was comfortable proceeding, and I felt less like a freak asking someone to decide if sleeping with me was worth contracting an incurable illness. My partners were always very thankful that I was honest, and genuinely felt bad that this was something I was going. Back to Blog. Plus, as some of the women above found, it can bring you and your partner even closer as far as intimacy and communication are concerned, which can only enhance your relationship. But I think her feelings are super-understandable. I really like them and was all set to get intimate with. You and your partner will need to work through the betrayal with a qualified relationship therapist. Genital herpes affects hundreds of millions of people around the world, many of whom have no problems enjoying a normal, fulfilling sex life. Your Email:. This commenting section is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page. It has not always been easy.

Why I Love Telling People I Have Herpes

They each chose whether or not to participate in sex, and how, with me. A one-night-stand can be both physical and emotional. That way, you can make an informed decision, and at the very least decide if you feel comfortable with the risk of contracting whatever you might possibly contract. But the fact that so many people carry this virus, whether they realise it or not, should surely be enough for us to stop making jokes about it. And as for my love life? Type keyword s to search. We all need to know when we are dizzy pick up lines what does favorited mean on eharmony vulnerable, and disconnected from our partners. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. I wanted herpes to have a human face, and I wanted it to be. Suzannah Weiss. You and sex finder sydney free face to face sex chat partner will need to work through the betrayal with a qualified relationship therapist. Sometimes, a little transparency and comfort is all your partner is looking for, and a quick, honest answer to a curious question can help make the mood more transparent and comfortable. When I told a new partner, I always tried to not make it a huge deal. But if you're not in a monogamous relationship or sex dating ireland sweet text messages to make a girl fall for you don't have a clean STI test from him or her, I'd be firm about your boundaries. Every time I tell someone that I have genital herpes, I run the risk of it being the only thing they remember about me.

It took me another year to walk away from the relationship because I felt so ashamed and believed no one else would ever want me again. As a virus, genital herpes is an annoyance at best and a frustration at worst — a virus that leads to irritating but occasional outbreaks that can easily be controlled with medication. I obviously have a lot of resentment over having this stupid thing and over the guilt I have around nondisclosure, and I suspect my history of casual sex is influenced by not wanting to deal with this conversation. He knew even more about the virus than I did! Unfortunately, all that DTBA can do is acknowledge her mistake, make herself vulnerable, and accept his reaction. Common sexual health concerns - Women. Responses were always better than I thought. Common sexual health concerns - Men. That was tough, but the end result was me feeling even better about myself in the way I handled the whole fiasco. I contracted herpes when I was 22 and went on to have a year marriage and two kids. By signing up to the VICE newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications from VICE that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. The conversations are pretty awkward honestly, but of the seven people I've told since, only one didn't want to have sex. I told him a couple days later when he got back to Seattle. And then I decide whether to disclose or not, based on the person and the situation. There are also dating sites for people with specific STIs, or ones that give you the opportunity to include any you may have in your profile which, yea, is bold but maybe kind of great. Type keyword s to search. If your partner is curious about the virus, it is worthwhile to share some information about how often you experience outbreaks. Also, accidents happen: A condom can break or genitals can come into contact if you're rubbing all on each other before wrapping up.

23 Women Reveal How They Tell A New Sexual Partner They Have Herpes

More than one million new STI cases detected each day: study. Friday, August Thank you for that trust and compassion. One of the hardest aspects of telling someone you have genital herpes is choosing the right moment. I got divorced eight years ago and then faced dating again with herpes. There's a high chance he could have caught the virus from me, but best app for dating in canada black professional online dating this day he has never shown any symptoms. Vegan In-N-Out Burgers. We all need to know when we are feeling vulnerable, and disconnected from our partners. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. I tried to be more confident and calm after that first time. Source: iStock. Telling someone that I have herpes is the hardest thing for me. I went to positivesingles. I also told one night stand top countries fuckbook messaging that I really enjoyed our conversation because of the praise that I received. Being comfortable by yourself is hard, especially during this pandemic—but there are ways to make it feel a little easier. Summer Refresh. Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? You may not contract HIV from your one-night-stand, but herpes is also a lifelong disease.

Breaking out of small, harmful sex boxes. You can still have the sex life you want and still take care of the people around you. Starting a gossip practice during social distancing, even if over video chat, can help us feel closer to one another. Shop Learn. I have had some very understanding, compassionate partners who still wanted to continue dating, and some who were scared by the stigma and the possible consequences and ended things abruptly. However, being diagnosed has made me conscious to live a healthy lifestyle which I do believe is a big factor for this. Instead, get the point across openly, honestly and directly to your partner. It is not the end of the world, but important that you know. That herpes is something to be seriously feared. But I think her feelings are super-understandable. It's time for roommates and partners to stop pretending that proceeding germily through life without taking any precautions is totally cool and fine. But how?

How to Tell Someone You Have Genital Herpes

I think it is like anything else in life: The more you do it, the better you. Both went kik usernames that will sext 2021 after one night stand advice well and surprised me with their kindness and openness. Suggest that they take a day or two to think about it before contacting you to see how they feel. Have you searched his place for MAGA hats? If the harassment becomes an issue, you might need to get the law involved, change your contact details, and delete all of your online social media accounts for a period of time. But how? This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The person could become so infatuated by you that they might stalk you on social media. This means avoiding sex during outbreaks — which are when the risk of herpes transmission is highest — and using physical protection such as a condom or dental dam. All of this can be dealt with productively if you have the tools, and you can lead a very full life.

The lead-up to the second disclosure was a lot more difficult, because it was my first time telling a potential partner with the intention of wanting to continue to date. A fun fact to keep up you up at night is that a common STI symptom is actually no symptom. Image: Unsplash Source:Whimn. The gamut. It has not always been easy. If you think you're going to have sex that night, I think it's safe to say something like, "The type of protection I want to use is a condom because I've had XYZ in the past—how about you? Categories Blog. Also, accidents happen: A condom can break or genitals can come into contact if you're rubbing all on each other before wrapping up. I was initially very depressed about being HSV-positive — I felt isolated and completely unlovable. One of my friends who insists on partners getting a full STD test before having sex with her got it from a guy who actually got tested, and then lied about his results! Need I say anymore? After a while, he was the one who decided we should stop using protection because he didn't want to live in fear as long as we were together. I introduced my viral condition with humor or in a passing comment, and my partners responded with empathy. Back to Blog.

What are the potential dangers of a one-night-stand?

It made herpes unnecessarily terrifying for me and for my potential partner. Shayla Love. You may not contract HIV from your one-night-stand, but herpes is also a lifelong disease. The gamut. The first few times, I would be close to tears or in tears when I had to tell a new partner. He asked me without any trace of judgment what having an STD meant for my sex life, and I answered that condoms were a must. But the second I spoke out against his joke, I was hooked on reactions like his. Support groups Sex Education Why talk to kids about sex? But if you're not in a monogamous relationship or you don't have a clean STI test from him or her, I'd be firm about your boundaries. This is very important even if you rarely experience herpes outbreaks, as genital herpes can be spread from an infected person into an uninfected person even without any visible outbreak symptoms. Apart from one guy who, very respectfully, told me he didn't feel comfortable, my sexual partners have been understanding. Image: iStock Source:Whimn. It's time for roommates and partners to stop pretending that proceeding germily through life without taking any precautions is totally cool and fine. Borrowing a trick from our teenage selves, we grabbed a blanket and hunted down a secluded enough corner of the campus softball field. Trust will have to be earned, and your partner might decide that the effect of this betrayal is too much to deal with and might decide to end your relationship. Feel free to ask me any questions about it, and even ask for space to think about it. Social Media Facebook.

Despite being a sex-positive writer and activist, I wondered if this was some karmic punishment for my values and the way that I had lived my life. But it also allowed us to be very honest and open about our feelings from the start, and we've always had incredible communication. On the other hand, I have a best friend who is positive, too, and she is in a very happy and successful relationship with someone who is not positive. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano. Responses were always better than I thought. Even if you've never struggled with disordered eating before, having to stay home can be a real challenge in managing your mental health as it relates to your body image. Pick up lines for whatsapp what is the best dating alien drag queen Aria PettyOne for trivia, free expression. He might want to end the relationship, and his feelings would be valid. You can have either type without international dating forum hawian mail order brides any symptoms, yet still pass it on to other people via genital secretions or skin to skin contact, which makes herpes a prevalent STI. Telling people I date makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, and at first I worried what people would think about me.

Symptoms of Pneumonia

I often get asked whether connecting with someone else on an emotional level is considered cheating. To my surprise, he knew a lot about the skin condition already and was very comforting whenever it came up. It's time for roommates and partners to stop pretending that proceeding germily through life without taking any precautions is totally cool and fine. They each chose whether or not to participate in sex, and how, with me. Breaking out of small, harmful sex boxes. However, I believe it was hard because of the pressure I put on myself. Source: iStock. What I would recommend is telling them that you have herpes before you have sex — informed consent is very important before you start to be sexually active. Herpes is incredibly common: Some studies have found that more than two out of every three people have herpes. But the fact that so many people carry this virus, whether they realise it or not, should surely be enough for us to stop making jokes about it. Because when a real person—a woman you know and respect—casually mentions having herpes, it stops being a punch line and starts being someone's reality. As you can see, revealing you have herpes is different for everybody. Here's what to look for if you're seeking mental healthcare that doesn't see "sexual deviance" as deviance. But who cares about herpes? Unless your immune system is majorly compromised, an outbreak is unlikely to seriously hurt you.

You may be able to find 30 best dating sites canada free cool dating site names information about this and similar content at piano. Penda N'Diaye. It was also November, and we were freezing—but it was some of the best sex of my life. According to the World Health Organization, when it comes to HSV-2, an estimated 11 percent of the world population ages 15 to 49 have the virus — meaning you can correctly and accurately let your partner know that at least one in ten people is infected with the virus. Michigan senior physically challenged dating sits meet local single men 50+ I could steer into the skid and stop being so afraid of what people thought. The first five years, I was in a relationship with a guy who also had it. We all need to know when we are feeling vulnerable, and disconnected from our partners. Fighting the cultural stigma surrounding STDs is a battle I actually enjoy fighting. We would go on to date for about a year. Sometimes, if that person is alone, they might also disclose they have herpes. A one-night-stand can be both physical and emotional. After talking pretty much every day for four months, he came to Florida to visit his family and see me. You may be able to find more information on their web site. Image: iStock Source:Whimn. Social Media Facebook. Newsletter Signup.

Herpes is incredibly common: Some studies have found that more than two out of every three people have herpes. We chatted about the health center on local benaughty girls what job men meet the most women, and with my eyes fixed firmly on the road, I told him about my experience getting treated for genital herpes. It has not always been easy. Condoms are herpes carrier's BFF. I was confident when I told them, and just laid out the facts. We all need to know when we are feeling vulnerable, and disconnected from local girls charleston west virginia law of attraction and online dating partners. I was initially very depressed about being HSV-positive — I felt isolated and completely unlovable. Summer Refresh. Most people have a lot of questions, which is the best, in my opinion — the more people understand, the more we chip away slowly at the stigma and ignorance around it. But Andy and I were resourceful kids, and we weren't about to give up on two months of sexual tension. Vegan In-N-Out Burgers. After a while, wechat sex chat where to find unprotected sex was the one who decided we should stop using protection because he didn't want to live in fear as long as we were is using tinder good zoosk display names. This is very important even if you rarely experience herpes outbreaks, as genital herpes can be spread from an infected person into an uninfected person even without any visible outbreak symptoms. As a virus, genital herpes is an annoyance at best and a frustration at worst — a virus that leads to irritating but occasional outbreaks that can easily be controlled with medication. Social Media Facebook. Fast forward a couple years and I met someone on the site that just blew me away.

What do I do? But I feel terrible about it! Rule Breakers. But eventually when I started dating again, I gathered the courage to begin telling people — it took a lot of self-reflection and acceptance. Tell them before and they will probably feel more comfortable with your honesty and commitment to help keep them safe. First, you need to find a way to accept your diagnosis. Apart from dealing with, you know, the whole painful blister thing going on, you have this virus that is too embarrassing to talk about, but is also not serious enough for people to refrain from joking about it. It's time for roommates and partners to stop pretending that proceeding germily through life without taking any precautions is totally cool and fine. Apart from the odd tingle, I have never had a second outbreak. At the time I truly believed that it was impossible to pass the virus on if I didn't have an outbreak - a highly misinformed GP had told me this. In the instances that I did tell, I always got positive responses because they were with partners who truly cared about me.

All rights reserved. You may be able to find more information on their web site. You have to be up-front and honest, and you may even have to re-negotiate the spaces in which you meet sexual partners. More than one million new STI cases detected each day: study. What I would recommend is telling them that you have herpes before you have sex — informed consent is very important before you start to be sexually active. Because when a real person—a woman you know and respect—casually mentions having herpes, it stops being a punch line and starts being someone's reality. But the second I spoke out against his joke, I was hooked on reactions like. Plus, as some of the women above found, it can bring you and your partner even closer as far as intimacy and communication are concerned, which can only enhance your relationship. I often share this story with my clients to illustrate that point. But eventually when I started using tinder on two devices david deangelo online dating message again, I gathered the dating advice articles disclose herpes one night stand to begin telling people — it took a lot of self-reflection and acceptance. Not to mention chlamydia and other STIs. Your Email:. A fun fact to keep up you up at night is that a common STI symptom is actually no symptom. You can have either type without exhibiting reddit good hookup apps who messages first on tinder guys or girls study symptoms, yet still pass it on to other people via genital secretions or skin to skin contact, which makes herpes a prevalent STI. And after texting for two months about how much we wanted to see each other—and have sex with each other—he and I were finally standing side by. I was initially very depressed about being HSV-positive — I felt isolated and completely unlovable. Categories Blog. I get all that, intellectually. To say that sex with a condom is just as good is a bald-faced lie. Should you decide to tell your partner about the one-night-stand, your relationship is going to suffer the consequences of an affair.

Rule Breakers. What I would recommend is telling them that you have herpes before you have sex — informed consent is very important before you start to be sexually active. He had lots of questions and asked for some time to think about it. Also, accidents happen: A condom can break or genitals can come into contact if you're rubbing all on each other before wrapping up. I wait for a quiet personal moment and then tell my partner that I believe I have a herpes outbreak. Disclosing a herpes diagnosis to potential sexual partners can be difficult but is important. Sometimes, if that person is alone, they might also disclose they have herpes too. Sometimes, this is all it takes to put genital herpes in context as a common type of virus. Web Design by Online Innovations. After a while, he was the one who decided we should stop using protection because he didn't want to live in fear as long as we were together. Next Events. All rights reserved. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Then bring it up, whatever that status is. I was initially very depressed about being HSV-positive — I felt isolated and completely unlovable. Whether you had sex or not, I see this as an affair because it has created a barrier between you and your partner. The choice of whether to tell or not is entirely up to them. Of the following two sentences, which would you rather hear come out of your mouth? I tried to laugh away the pain that I truly felt because I had rarely heard herpes being discussed maturely in my life.

To say that sex with a condom is just as good is a bald-faced lie. I would try everything to avoid the issue and found that when I finally put it on the table, all of my partners were OK with it. In reality, I know his attitude about it came from a place of him not wanting me to let HSV control my life and how I felt about myself, but I really wished I had another HSV positive person to talk to who knew what it felt like and could be more empathetic. Fast forward a couple years and I met someone on the site that just blew me away. The vast majority of my partners have been accepting and empathetic — we talk about my story, what having herpes means for my sex life, and I answer any questions they may have, and then, when we are both comfortable, we have sex! Well, it hasn't always been easy. My partners were always very thankful that I was honest, and genuinely felt bad that this was something I was going through. I have to tell him.